A freshman boy in high school named Kyle was carrying his books home from school. To the rest of the kids, he looked like a complete nerd. So a couple of boys in his grade came along and blasted the books out of his hands, and shoved him down in the grass.
His glasses went flying. Another young man was walking home and witnessed the attack. When the bullies left, he helped Kyle pick up his books. Kyle thanked the young man for his kindness. So the young man invited Kyle over to play football with his friends that weekend.
The next Monday, the young man helped Kyle carry half of his books home. Throughout high school, the two became great friends. By their senior year, Kyle was Valedictorian of the class and well liked by the students.
When Kyle gave his graduation speech, he said that he had to thank his teachers, his family, and perhaps most importantly his friends. Kyle explained to the crowd’s amazement that he was on the verge of committing suicide when he was a freshman. The bullies did everything they could to put him down. Then, one day, someone came and helped pick him up.
If it weren’t for that person, Kyle may not have seen his own graduation. But, the kindness of a stranger prevailed. Kyle’s mom and dad nodded at the young man who helped Kyle. It was in that moment that the young man realized that his small gesture had changed Kyle and his family’s entire life.
The Instant Friend Formula
The best way to make friends with someone is to help them achieve what they want. One of human’s greatest desires is the desire of significance. Everyone wants to feel important. If you can make someone feel important, they will remember. The best way to make friends instantly is to have a genuine interest in other people and their success.
Leading With Honesty
When I talk about magnetic leadership super-powers, very few rival in the power of honesty. It’s one of the most powerful, and it’s also one of the rarest. In today’s world, it’s so hard to get the truth. People are always trying to cover up the bad and accentuate the good. Naturally, people don’t want to look bad or get in trouble, so they lie.
That’s why when someone comes along and is willing to give the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help them God, people freak out! I’ll give you a mind-blowing example. I had a friend in high school and college who, by all accounts, was not very responsible. He broke a lot of promises. He would say, “Sure, I’ll be there!” Then he’d never show.
Now, you’d think that everybody would write this guy off as a total flake, a loser, and above all else, someone that they couldn’t trust. But the exact opposite was true. People loved hanging around this guy and loved to hang around with him no matter how many promises he ended up breaking.
The reason? He was honest. I remember one time he told me he would see me at a meeting on campus and he never showed. When I asked him the following day why I didn’t see him there, he told me, “I apologize man. It was stupid of me. I didn’t call you because I was afraid you’d probably be disappointed in me. I don’t want you to be disappointed in me.
I had a friend of mine invite me out to eat, and I hadn’t ate all day, plus I thought it would be more fun, so I decided to go eat instead. I’m really sorry. I don’t want you to be disappointed in me, but I totally understand I let you down.” My irritation completely melted away because I knew he was telling the truth.
Plus, it felt good to know that he still respected and valued my friendship, and didn’t want to disappoint me. How could I not give him a second chance? I forgave him immediately, and let him know how much I appreciated his honesty. He may not have been very responsible, but he won over a lot of friends by being honest.
“There is nothing wrong with affirmations, provided what you are affirming is the truth. If you are broke, for example, the best thing to affirm is, ‘I’m broke!’” – Jim Rohn, American Business Philosopher
SUPER HONESTY BUILDING ACTIVITY: The first step in being an honest person is being honest with yourself. When you’re honest with yourself, you build trust and rapport with yourself which breeds confidence. Honesty shows others that you can be trusted with the truth. If you’re not honest, and lie to yourself, it shows that you’re not very honest, and that you’re highly capable of lying to others. Your self confidence is shattered if you deceive yourself, but you will feel relieved and confident if you live honestly.
Answer the following questions about honesty… and be honest: Question #1: What does honesty mean to me? Question #2: What does dishonesty mean to me? Question #3: What am I willing to sacrifice to be honest? Question #4: What am I not willing to sacrifice to be honest? Question #5: What do I expect from others in terms of honesty? Question #6: How should I handle someone who is being dishonest to me? Question #7: Who is a person I know, or what is a story I know, that is a good example of the benefit of honesty?